Tears of a Dragon
by Chrissies
Summary: The heartbreaks and dillemas that Lady Varie must face as Queen of all Fanelia and a single parent after her husband Goau dies. Chrissies: (*wink) My first SERIOUS fanfic!! Hope y'all like it!!! Be sure to R &R!!!


do my eyes deceive me or am i writing something serious

do my eyes deceive me or am i writing something serious??!! I am writing something serious!!!! can u believe it?? !! it's either a miracle or the apocalypse.......ummm.......probably the first one! 

I got this idea all by myself!!! HA! HA! Take that SNL!!!!!

oh, and I do not own Escaflowne.....why?!!! it's not fair!!!!! (* starts to cry) WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok...some lil important tidpits i have to say and make clear before i begin the story....

  * First of all, later in the story some of you might get the idea that i'm implying that varie and balgus have something romantic going on....well, i'm not!!!! that's just wrong!!! wrong, i tell you!!! wrong!!! they're only friends!!!! I just wanted to make that clear!!!
  * Varie's so cool!!!! she one of my fav characters in Escaflowne!!! ( you have to take into mind that i say that about almost all the characters in escaflowne....almost) she reminds me a little of Tsunami and Lady Misaki from Tenchi Muyo!!! (Tsnami/Tsasami are my ultimately favorite characters in all of Tenchi's lil world!!!!! ) you know the whole dots above the eyes thing...that's cool!! i wonder who had them first.....Varie or Tsunami?? If you know please email me or tell me in your review...i'm curious!!!
  * Don't make fun of this....it's my first fanfic in this style.....but i think i did not do too bad considering it's my first attempt!!! Hopefully it doesn't suck!!!
  * oh, and lastly not all of this is entirely correct according to the series....i kinda did my own thing here...with the time sequence and everything else....so i don't want anyone telling how it happened differently in the series!!! i know i'm wrong!!! i don't need to be told it like a million times!!! it makes me really depressed!!! Plus, this is fanfiction.net!!!!! we can write whatever the hell we feel like!!!! Am I right?!!! Who's with me??!!! (*nobody answers...crickets shirp in the background) (*hangs head down sorrowfully) Damn! I'm always wrong!!! (*teardrop)

and here it is!!!! my story!!!!!

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*THE TEARS OF A DRAGON*

by me!!! Chrissies!!!!

(in case no one can tell....this is in Varie's point of view *wink* thought i'd let you all know!!!)

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I stood at the grave of my deceased husband. The wind carelessly whipped my hair around in all directions. The duty of running the entire country and raising my two sons fell heavily unto my shoulders. "Oh, sweet Goau. It is not your fault." I whisper before I turn to the servants who were waiting patiently behind me. I did not bother to wipe away the tears that streamed my face. It would have been an insult to Goau. I am not ashamed to grieve! I stood tall and proud, crying. I am Varie Fanel, Queen to all of Fanelia. I will be loyal to my country.

"Lady Varie," one of the servants stepped forward, "are you sure that you're okay?" She seemed acceptionally worried about myself. Bless her soul. I simply nodded to her question and walked past them to the horse-drawn carrige.

"I want to go home to my sons." I stepped inside the carriage without the servants helping me. I really didn't see the point in them wasting their time if I could do it of my own free will. I sat close to the window. The sky was dark and cloudy. It looked like it was going to rain, but the grass stayed dry. It wasn't even dinner time, this weather added to my sadness.

"Mother! Mother!" Van came running into my lap out of nowhere, closely followed by Merle. What a sweet little cat-girl. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter than this stray, abandoned soul. "Mother!" Van was whining now.

"Whatever is the matter my dear son?" I couldn't help but laugh as I said that. They looked so cute! Van on my lap and Merle sitting on the ground pulling at my dress.

"Merle stole the carving of the dragon that Folken gave me!!!" Van was nearly in tears. "Make her give it back!!!"

I looked at Merle, "Merle." Merle quickly hid the dragon behind her back checking my eyes to see if I saw that she did have it. 

"I don't know what dragon Prince Van is talking about Mama..." she stopped herself. "I'm sorry, I mean Queen Varie." It was sad how in public she was ordered to address me properly, although I never did approve of it. She looked away, she thought that she would be punished, ahe had been before. "I'm sorry Prince!" She quickly shoved the dragon back at Van and ran out of the room in tears. She obviously didn't want to be punished for two incidents. I wish that she hadn't ran away so fast. I so wanted her to call me 'Mama', even if only in private. Now I would have to go look for her in one of her thousands of miniscule hiding spaces about the castle. I sighed as I lifted Van off my lap and placed him gingerly on the ground, sending him on his way to his studies. He ran out of the room, clutching the dragon carving close to his heart. I hoped that he would go to his studies and not to Folken who was training at this moment. Van adored Folken, almost as much as his father. I felt a rock form in my throat, I stayed silent, for I didn't feel like crying again today. I shall make it my goal.

I roamed the halls. Where could have Merle gone to? I wonder. Halls and halls of millions of appropriate spots that only Merle could squeeze into. I sighed, I'd better start with this room, this is as good as any. 

"Varie!!!" I heard someone shout as I started to open the door of the first room. It was Balgus. It could only be Balgus. He's the only one besides Goau who addressed me by my first name alone. No titles. It felt good for a change to hear that. No Lady Varie, or Queen Varie or even Mother. They all held titles which I was bound to. Balgus stopped running until he reached about a respectful foot away from me. He seemed out of breath.

"Varie, I looked all over for you. I have information that concerns Folken." I nodded for him to continue. "I believe that it is important that he leaves tomorrow evening to slay the dragon."

"So soon?" I was shocked. I knew Folken was very advanced in his training, but I just didn't think he was ready. Of course he was very mature for his age, and responsible. But apart of me still thought of him as my little boy who used to sit on lap just like Van does now. The little innocent boy, who doesn't kill a beautiful creature such as the dragon, in cold blood. They are our brothers, especially so for myself, Folken, and Van. Our ancestry runs together with the dragons'. "Is it _necessary_?"

"Actually, my Lady," he stopped himself for he knew I did not approve of the title, "he requested that he leave tomorrow and that I tell you now."

"Folken wanted to leave..." my heart sank to unbelivable depths, did this mean that Folken had changed his views and morals on right and wrong, "I just can't believe it."

Balgus placed a hand on my shoulder, "He is ready, Varie. You can't change that. It's his duty to keep Fanelia strong...he feels the same about dragon slaying, it's a cruel necessity." He has known for so long, he could tell my thoughts and concerns.

I nodded as he left to go on with his business. He is a very busy man. He helps me run the country, takes care of the army and the dragonslayers, trains Folken, he is starting to work with Van, and he still finds time to train himself. I smiled at thought, he's cares so much. I wonder if it's his devotion and friendship to Goau that makes him work this hard or is it that he has truly come to care about the well-being of myself and my family....I guess I'll never know, it would be shameful to ask him. I turned to the door. I must not forget to continue my search for poor little Merle. She must be still crying.

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I sat there at dinner. At the head as usual. After I had found Merle, she and Van made up and Merle forced him to sit with her at her seperate table. Another stupid necessity due to honor. The councils said that it would be shameful to have a jujin sit at the same table as the royalty of Fanelia, even if she is part of the family. In a way I was glad of the little ones absense at the table. It would give me time to talk to Folken without worry or restraint.

"Have you talked with Balgus, Mother?" Folken immeadiately wanted to get right into the conversation. I saw him stare intently at me, watching my every action for some sign to him of my thoughts on the subject. 

"Yes he has Folken...." I didn't know what to say to him. It was his choice, he has his duties. It was nnot my part to interfere.

"So..." 

"So what?" 

"Oh, Mother. Please don't act this way. You know I don't want to go."

"Then why go now?!" I rested my head in my hand.

"I figure, the sooner I go and get it over with, the sooner I can come back to you and Van. I know the pressures of running this damned country is getting to you. It's obvious, Ma!"

"hmph," I looked away from Folken. I never knew he noticed my great stress. I tried to hide it, and in a way I guess I still wanted to hide it from him now. Folken had no more to say and I think he sort of knew he would not get any more out of me. He stood up, gently kissed me on the forehead and excused himself from dinner. When Van noticed, he quickly got up and ran after Folken. He was probably wanting Folken to read him a bedtime story. I looked over at Merle who looked up and smiled at me. She had no clue what was going on. She was so innocent. I smiled back at her. I hoped everything would be alright.

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I waited solemnly by my window. It has been over two weeks since Folken had left for his dragon slaying, and he had not come back yet. Most of the people were getting very worried about young Folken's absence, saying that a cruel fate got him in the end. I myself started to wonder the same thing. Balgus and the rest of the samurai had left on a search for my Folken and we expected them back days ago. Balgus always stayed sure that Folken was fine. He said his training was perfect and that he could not have come to any harm easily. This started the rumor around the country that Folken had simply runaway from his duties as the new king of Fanelia. That in my mind, was absolutely impossible. Folken would never do that to Van and myself, and most of all, he would never do that to Fanelia. I sat rocking at the window deep in my thoughts.

"Varie?!" I bolted out of my chair when I heard my name called by that familiar voice. I guess I was so deep in thought that I had not heard the persistent knocking on my door. "Lady Varie?! Is everything alright in there?!"

"Come in Balgus."

Balgus slowly walked in. He was solemn and seemed to have been crying earlier for his eyes were bloodshot. He held a slender package under one arm. I had not noticed any of these details at first for I would not have giggled nervously.

"I'm glad you returned safely, Balgus. I was almost was tempted to send a search party after you and the samurai!" I laughed at my own stupid joke. then I stopped immeadiately when I noticed that Balgus's face did not change. That's when I spied the package that he held close to his body. He reached into one of his pouches and handed me something. I looked down at the once white feather stained red with blood in my hands.

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(in Balgus's point of view ^_^)

I held that package close. I was afraid to tell her, she was always such a strong woman, but I just didn't think that she'd be able to take the news that I beared. She held the stained feather, she knew what it meant. She held it up to her heart and closed her eyes. I saw the tears starting to roll down her face. 

"Lady Varie, I'm so, so sorry."

She let go of the feather and let it slowly float to the ground. Her legs wobbled and gave way underneath her. She clenched herself and let out the most Gods forsaken cry I've ever heard in my entire life. It sounded as if a part of her was being ripped violently away. I've never heard a sound like that before and I've fought in many wars and seen many people die and give the news of the dead to many unsuspecting families and mothers.

Varie cover her face and started to cry and scream at the same time. She was shaking all over. Then she hunched her shoulders and two long, slender wings shot out of her back. The feathers from her wings came floating down as if it was raining. They started to coat every inch of the floor in her room.

"Lady Varie, your wings..." She slowly lifted her eyes from her hands. Her tear ridden face looked at the feathers floating down around her, "...they're pitch black."

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Well, that's it. I'm thinking about doing a sequel to this story, but that all depends on the response I get from you guys, the readers! I want to know what YOU think!!! (Oh gosh, I sound like Uncle Sam...I want YOU to join the US Navy! LOL! JK!) Please review and tell me!!! Oh, and for anyone who did not know, Draconians' wings' turn black shortly before they die. It's kinda like an omen for their soon to be death....it might make more sense to the people who did not already know if I mentioned that at the end. well I'll love to hear your reviews! I'm only experimenting with this so.....no more serious for me if it turns out I suck!!!! Byies! Love, Chrissies


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